Have you ever wondered what would occur if a pig befriended a monkey and they lived happily in the rainforests of Brazil?  I have, and I'm sure that I may be the only one.  It really isn't all that interesting, so let's talk about something more along the lines of humor.  Spatulas.  It is a known fact (to me anyway) that spatulas are hilarious.  Just think about it for a second...ok..that's long enough.  Now isn't that hilarious.  You just spent some time thinking about a common utensil used in cooking.  Perhaps you used a spatula this morning.  And did you ever think, while flipping those flapjacks that you would be giving consideration to the device with which you flipped?  I think not.  While we're on the subject of being unknowing, what about horse-rabbits?  That's right, a strange new breed of horses that resemble rabbits.  What would you do if you ran into one of these?  Call the proper authorities I hope.  I don't even know what they would look like, but I'm sure you've spent at least a moment trying to figure that one out for yourself.  Why?  I know not.  But let's get back to the pig and the monkey.  Why?  Because this is their tale.  A boring tale most likely, filled with foolish ramblings by both pig and monkey (though secretly I would assume that the monkey would be the more foolish of the two for obvious reasons).

Pig:  I went for a walk the other day.
Monkey:  That is true!  I witnessed said walk and enjoyed watching as you muttered to yourself.
Pig:  If what you say is true, then I suppose I should be more careful.
Monkey:  That is true!  I always seem to agree with you.

And this goes on and on.  Pigs and monkeys are not the best conversationalists as I'm sure you noticed.  Not like they could be if they really worked at it.  Now camels on the other hand are great at conversation.  They tend to talk your ear of if you'll let them (though it's hard to stand the spitting).  They'll also chew your ear off if you don't guard it.  I generally wear a hat with earflaps when visiting my camel friends in order to keep my ears handy.  And ears are handy (though not as handy as hands, which are far more handy than any other body part).  Ears are what make up most of the face.  Just think if we didn't have ears.  Ears are like the bookends that hold everything together.  Some people have small bookends, and some have large.  It's really not the size of the ears that matter, but how well they hold everything together that's between them.  And I for one can't help but think that Elephants are doing OK.  Just check out the size of those bookends!  And it's a good thing too, because their heads are huge (though I've spoken at times with elephants, and I'm pretty sure the large head is just for show...there's not all that much up top if you know what I mean).  But we're getting away from the story at hand again.

Pig:  If you could be a pig, would you?
Monkey:  And give up this life!  No way!
Pig:  I don't know what you're talking about.  I don't see the glamour in being a monkey.
Monkey:  No glamour!  Hogwash!
Pig:  I wish you would quit saying that...I always feel like I need to take a bath or something.
Monkey:  Now you're getting it.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  Pigs and Monkeys should NOT be allowed to speak intelligently to each other..or unintelligently either...Or at all.  OK...here it is:  Pigs and Monkeys are not allowed together.

The End