A large, brutish looking fellow steps into the room.  In the room there is a small table with two chairs facing each other.  There are no windows, mirrors or artwork in the room, and one of the two bulbs in the overhead light fixture is broken.  Sitting in one of the chairs is a man.  He looks strangely to be in a good mood, though the circumstances would suggest he shouldn't be.  Shhh...let's listen in.
 

Sir...please state your name for the record.
Ian McLeod Western.
Where are you from Ian, if that's your real name?
I reside in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA, Earth, Milky Way Gal....
That's quite enough.  And what do you do?
I work at Office Depot, am an assistant coach for Bethel College Lacrosse, enjoy fishing, knitting, long wal...
Please...just answer the questions...and no embellishment...we know when you're fibbing.
Ok...I work at Office Depot and assistant coach for BC Lax.  Is that what you wanted to hear?
Yes..try to keep these answers brief...we only have so much time.
Will do...fire away.
Do you currently attend any schooling?
No I do not.  I graduated from Bethel last spring with a Bachelor of Arts in Business: Marketing and HR Management.
And you're looking for work in that field then?
Yes sir.
Don't call me sir.
Yes sir.
I said...
I know...(maniacal laughter)
Sir...I don't think this is a laughing matter.
Noted.
Do you live by yourself?
No...I live with my parents, two brothers, and dog.
Will you divulge their names?
The dog is Sonya vom Wilke..she's the only one who would let me give her name.
Interesting.  And how long have you lived in Minneapolis?
All of my life...all 23 years.
You're an old fellow aren't you?
Well, getting on in years a bit.  The back's starting to go, and my eyes a little.  Knees never were much good.
I feel terrible for you.  How is work at Office Depot?
Bearable.  I just have to remember that I'm working for the glory of God and not for men.  If I forget that, I have trouble.
I see.  And how long have you worked there?
Just about 3 and a half years...that's about 3 years too long...hahahahahahaha.
No joking.  We don't do that here.
You're a boring bunch, aren't you?
We prefer the term, reserved.
BORING.
Quit it.  How long have you coached lacrosse?
This is my first year on the coaching side.  I played the last two years at Bethel.  Just couldn't hang it up.
And what does your coaching entail?
Well, Darren Tutt is the true coaching genius.  I just do what he says to do and provide insight if I have any.
Do you ever get to play with the team?
Well, I was hoping to play attack in practice, but instead I got stuck playing goalie.
Goalie?  How's that?
Well, we only have one, and that doesn't work so well for scrimmages, and since I'm not really on the team...it just made sense.
Any other extracurricular activities?
Well I work at a Bible camp in the summer.
And that is?
Riverside Bible camp.  An awesome place...God is there.  Everything else seems to fade away, and God comes to the foreground.
And you've done that for how long?
Well, last summer and this past summer...two years.  And I manage to get out there for retreats sometimes too.
Interesting.  What can you tell us about your past?
Let's see...that could get boring pretty quickly.
Ok...I'll let you put that in your other notes then.  It looks like this interview is done.  Please submit any other notes to the correct people.
Will do, and let me just say you're looking tremendous.
Thanks...I've been working out.
You can really tell. So I'm done here?
For now...Just remember, we're watching you!
Good...that'll keep me on my toes!

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